Coca Cola vs Pepsi
by wildchild21
Summary: Title of the best soda in the world will be decided, in a Wrestling Match (And in no way in hell is this romantic.)


**Michael Buffer:** Welcome to the battle of the sodas. In this corner, opening happiness since 1886, get ready to taste the feeling, it's... Cocaaaaaaaaaaaa cooooooooooolaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. (Crowd cheers) And in the other corner, coming alive since 1893, you're all in the generation of... peeeeeeeepsiiiiiiiiiii. (Crowd boos) And now, ladies and gentleman, LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!

 **Jim Ross:** Well this gon' be one hell of a match, I tell ya what. 2 of the most iconic beverages fight it out for the title of best soda in the world. They've already fought in our local, national and international supermarkets, in corporate companies, and in TV commerials.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh, I can't wait, J.R. It's like Corn Flakes vs. Cheerios, or Cadbury vs. Nestlé.

(Bell rings)

 **Jim Ross:** And here we go, Coke and Pepsi are beating each other's tins off. Coke has got Pepsi in a choke hold, but Pepsi quickly reverses with a big toss. Here's the cover and... Coke kicks outs at 1, as he's now irish whips pepsi into the corner. He lifts him up and gives him a few puches on the face.

 **Jerry Lawler:** He's gonna bend Pepsi's face, J.R..

 **Jim Ross:** And so is his back because Coke is now lifting Pepsi to the top turnbuckle and- Oooooohhh my goooood. He just gave him a gigantic superplex outta nowhere. Coke makes the cover, hook of the leg and- ooohh, Pepsi kicks out at 2.

 **Jerry Lawler:** You know something, J.R., what do you ever have against Pepsi anyway.

 **Jim Ross:** Well, my guess is that they're just ripping off the global phenomenom known as Coca-Cola.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Rip-off. That's ridiculous. I know for sure that Pepsi is a great drink. Hell, I drink Pepsi nearly everyday.

 **Jim Ross:** Yeah, well tell that to the billions of Coca Cola fans who pay for the beverage 365 days a year, unlike Pepsi who have decreasing customers everyday.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Decreasing?! How dare you!

 **Jim Ross:** Damn right, I'm a big fan of Coca Cola, King. And for the record- Oh, wait a minute, while we we're arguing over minerals, Pepsi just kneed Coca Cola right in the face and now he's got him down for the pinfall. 1.. 2... Kickout! Coke kicks out at 2 and a half! My god this is getting more intense every second, just like all the matches in WWE. And now, Coke quickly gets right back up and has snapped at Pepsi. He has now just clotheslined Pepsi out of the ring, with himself ejected as well. And now 2 drinks are out of the ring and- Oh my god, Pepsi just hit Coke with a steel chair.

 **Jerry Lawler:** And now he's repeatedly hitting him with it.

 **Jim Ross:** It doesn't get any more brutal than this, King. And now, Pepsi is dragging Coke straight to the announce table, and puts his lifeless body on it.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Uh oh, J.R., Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

 **Jim Ross:** 'Fraid so, King. As Pepsi is searching for a weapon under the ring. And it looks like he just got a really tall ladder.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Geez, that's gotta be at least 20ft tall.

 **Jim Ross:** Pepsi is now climbing the ladder, as if he's planning to land on Coke. Oh no, he's not gonna do it. He can't possibly do it, King.

 **Jerry Lawler:** He's gonna do it (screams)

 **Jim Ross:** OOOOOOHHHHH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! PEPSI JUST LEAPED OF A 20FT LADDER WITH AN ELBOW DROP ON COKE! And now Pepsi slowly gets up, and drags Coke back in the ring and makes the cover. 1... 2... OHHH, GOOOODDDD. Coke barely survives! Barely!

 **Jerry Lawler:** I can't believe this.

 **Jim Ross:** Hang on, Coke is getting up, and it looks like he's asking for it. Pepsi is now beating the living hell out of Coke. He won't stop at all, King.

 **Jerry Lawler:** For my sake, I hope he doesn't.

 **Jim Ross:** Wait, Coke has grabbed Pepsi's hand. Coke has got Pepsi right where he wants him with... The Coke-Pain. He hits Pepsi with his finisher, the Coke-Pain. Cover- Wait a minute, what the hell. What the hell is this? Oh, no

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh, yes. J.R., look. It's Pepsi Max.

 **Jim Ross:** Oh, You've gotta be kidding me. Not this damn punk. The other thorn of Coke's side for years, helping Pepsi with his finisher.. the Pep-Talk. He hits him with the Pep-Talk. Not like this. Not this way. (Coke kicksout) Ohhh, Coke's still alive. C''mon, Coke, Keep your legacy alive. (Pepsi Max assaults Coke) Oh, come on now. Stop it, Max. Max assaulting Coke even further and- wait, King, look. It's... Coca Cola Zero.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Coca Cola Zero?! No!

 **Jim Ross:** Yes, the cavalry has arrived. Zero has dragged Max out of the ring and he's beating him with a steel chair. And in the ring, Coke gets back up, and has hit Pepsi with the Coke-Pain once again. Cover! 1... 2... 3! YES! YES! YES! Coke wins! Coke wins! Coke wins!

 **Michael Buffer:** Here is your winner, Coooooooooccccccccccaaaaaaaaaa Cooooooooooooooolllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

 **Jim Ross:** Coca Cola was, is, and always will be the greatest Soda in the world.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Well, I must admit, J.R. I was wrong about Coke. It tastes better than Pepsi.

 **Jim Ross:** Really, King, what brought this up?

 **Jerry Lawler:** While you were watching the rest of the match, I secretly took your Coca Cola to see what it tastes like, at first I wanted to badmouth it, but after drinking it, I've just seen the error of my ways.

 **Jim Ross:** Hang on, King?! You drank my Coke?!

(Jim laughs, then Jerry laughs)

 **Jim Ross:** Oh, King, old friend. I would've done the same thing.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Look, J.R., I don't think we're the only ones showing each other respect.

(Coke and Pepsi shake hands)

 **Coke:** Good match, Pepsi.

 **Pepsi:** You too, Coke. You really deserve to be the best.

 **Coke:** Thanks.

 **Pepsi Max:** Whatever.

 **Coke Zero:** Hey, Max, wanna shake hands.

 **Pepsi Max:** Hmmmm.

(Pepsi Max runs off and leaves the arena in an aeroplane before inadvertently crashing into the Pepsi factory.)

 **Pepsi:** MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!

(Coke and Coke Zero both laugh, so does Micheal Buffer and the entire crowd in the arena.)


End file.
